"I'm Free"

I'm going to be a little transparent in this post.  Only because my spirit is so so happy and so so free, that I cannot contain my excitement.  And since I share other exciting moments in my life with you, this one should not be any different. Besides, the purpose of this blog is to take you on my spiritual journey.  I can't always talk about the good without talking about the bad and the ugly. 

I have been divorced for a little over 3 years now.  I carried the guilt of deciding to divorce for such a long time.  The guilt that was placed on me from a spiritual standpoint and from a motherly standpoint was far too great.  It was what separated me from God.  Thankful to God, I found my way back, but the guilt stayed put.  Moments came where I would cry and feel the shame of having failed the ones I love (God, my children, and myself).  

One day, I decided to go to counseling.  I wanted to break free from the stronghold my ex had over me.  In there, I learned so much about him and myself.  I now had something tangible to pray about.  I immediately asked God to release me from that bondage.    

With the help of my counselor and God, I knew that I received God's forgiveness, knew that I forgave my ex, and all was left for me to do was forgive myself.  

Glory be to God the day I did.  God had a real heart to heart talk with me.  It was such a freeing and powerful experience. Words cannot explain how elated I was (and still am) to look in the mirror and no longer see shame and guilt.  To no longer have that burden.  

I feel like a new creature.  All smiles. I sometimes laugh and think how silly it was to think God was mad at me.  He loves me, I'm His daughter.  Thank you Lord, for you are so worthy to be praised.  This has been plaguing my mind for 3 years...but it's finally over. 

Praise God!